Moving on
by doublezer00s
Summary: At 28, Connie finds her biological clock ticking, so she decides to jump head first into the world of online dating. Will she find true love? Or just a lot of misadventure!
1. Chapter 1

'I'm drunk. I'm drunk. I'm drunk and I should not be making this call,' I think to myself. But I was making the call, and the voice on the other offered a groggy "Hello?" after just a few seconds of silence.

"JULIE!"

"Connie?" She asked. "What are you doing? It's 1 a.m. here."

"Well, that means it's only 11 here, and I'm out. Having too many cocktails."

"I can tell," she said, sounding more awake. I imagine her sitting up in bed, begrudgingly, just like she did when we lived together at Eden Hall ten years ago, and I would wake her up to complain about my latest fight with Guy.

"Julie, all the girls I'm out with say that I need to make an online profile on one of those dating websites, what do you think?"

I heard giggles from my girlfriends at the table. I'd met Hayley, Jen and Ella through my women's rec hockey league. It was a small but tightknit group of girls in Minneapolis, and I'd loved being part of it ever since I came home to work for my old Coach, Gordon Bombay as youth-hockey outreach and talent-development director for the Junior Goodwill Games. I covered the Upper-Midwest region, and I travel a lot of work to do marketing for our camps and programs and meet the kids we hope will be the next generation of awesome hockey players. I didn't even have to lie a teeny tiny bit when I told people how much I loved working for an organization that had done so much to further my own hockey career.

"Connie, I'm really tired, so I don't really want to go into this, but I do think it would be a good idea. Goodnight."

"Hey! Wait! Why? Why would it be a good idea?"

"Are you kidding? You REALLY need me to explain this to you?"

I shrugged, and then I felt dumb because I knew there was no way that Julie could hear me shrug over the phone.

"Connie, how about the fact that you dated the same guy for 27 years!"

"Off and on. I think I've calculated it out to actually 12 years total," I said. I could feel the hurt puppy look coming over my face as I spoke.

"Twelve years is ridiculous, Connie," Julie exclaimed. She was probably fully awake now. She wouldn't be able to go back to sleep for hours. When this used to happen in high school, she would usually make me stay awake and take to her until she fell asleep. Sometimes we played scrabble. She always beat me.

"The fact that you can even recall that while drunk is ridiculous. Everything about the ConnieandGuy situation is absolutely ridiculous, and you've been single for a year now. The logical next step is to date other guys."

"I don't know how."

"So, do it by trial and error. Date a lot of guys. Go on a lot of bad first dates and get a feel for it. You're a smart girl, you can do it."

"Fine. Thanks Julie. I guess"

"I hate you."

"I hate you too. Byeeee!"

I don't drink any more that evening. Besides water. There was lots of water, and two Aspirin when I get home, just to stave off any hangover that might be creeping up on me, but tomorrow's Saturday so it doesn't matter too much. I do have work to do. I always have work to do.

I don't want to stay up too late, but I also know I need to drink more water, so I do myself a favor and pour a huge glass while I pull up and attempt to write a profile page for myself…

 _My self-summary: My name is Connie. I'm a born & bread Minneapolitan. I grew up playing hockey in the area. I still play, and the sport is one of my biggest passions. I went to the University of Wisconsin (go badgers!), traveled around the world and came back to the area about a year ago for a job I love. There's a fair amount of travel involved, but I've decided that Minneapolis will always be home. I'm one-year out of a serious relationship. I have no idea what I'm doing with my personal life. I just want to see where this whole thing takes me._

 _What I'm doing with my life: Working, playing hockey, partying, plugging along …just trying to figure it out like everybody else!_

 _What I'm really good at: Ice hockey. I've been playing my whole life. I'm also a very good leader (read: bossy?)_

 _The first thing you usually notice about me: My long, brown hair and outspoken, goofy personality_

 _I spend a lot of time thinking about: work, hockey, my friends…_

 _I'm looking for: Someone patient who gets me. Someone to take me out to dinner, hang out with, do life with…._

 _You should message me if: You think we'd be compatible (?)_

 _Ethnicity: white_

 _Height: 5'4"_

 _Body type: athletic_

 _Diet: I'll eat anything_

 _Smokes: never_

 _Drinks: socially_

 _Drugs: nope_

 _Education: BS in Business Management from the University of Wisconsin_

 _Job: development/outreach/marketing for a nonprofit_

 _Offspring: n/a_

 _Pets: n/a_

 _Speaks: English. Basic Icelandic. Yup, you read that right._

I fall asleep pretty much the moment after I click "save." and I wake up to a variety of notifications and messages….

AN: Man, this site has changed! It's been so long! ...Do I still need to say that I don't own anything? Because I don't. Hope you like the story so far. I'd love a review. Thanks so much!


	2. Chapter 2

The first message on my computer that my tired eyes could fall onto and focus on was one from Julie.

 _CatLady6: How ya doin', champ?_

 _TheVelvetHammer_: Shut uuuppppp._

 _CatLady6: Ha. For real, though._

 _TheVelvetHammer_: I'm fine. I made my dating profile._

 _TheVelvetHammer_: I'm scared._

 _CatLady6: Ha. Don't be scared! I bet it's great. Did you make it last night while you were still a little drunk?_

 _TheVelvetHammer_: Maybe…._

 _CatLady6: Well, have you answered any of your messages yet?_

 _TheVelvetHammer_: No…_

 _CatLady6: Well, I'll leave you alone so you can get to it._

 _TheVelvetHammer_: Fine…._

 _TheVelvetHammer_: How's Maine?_

 _CatLady6: Everything's fine here. Just plugging along. Seriously, get to it!_

I sighed and pulled up the window of my prospects. There was Joe, who worked at Target – a major employer in the area. He was cute, but not my type. Henry was my type physically, but his profile disgusted me. Elliot was my favorite. His profile picture was cute. He had light brown hair, a boyish smile, and just enough scruff on his face to make him look mature and interesting. He worked in banking, which sounded boring, but so did my own job on the surface, and maybe he was passionate about it. His profile said he was a runner and liked to go hiking and camping on the weekends. I could deal with that, so I messaged him back.

 _ConnieM18: Hi, Elliot. I just got your message. How are you doing?_

 _ElliotSaysHi: Hi, Connie! Thanks for messaging back. I'm doing great. Pretty low key Saturday, actually. Would you like to go out this evening? Just for a quick drink. No pressure._

 _ConnieM18: Sure. I guess that would be OK._

 _ElliotSaysHi: Great! Do you know The Irish Pub, the Local?_

 _ConnieM18: Sure. I'll see you there. What time?_

 _ElliotSaysHi: 8?_

 _ConnieM18: Sounds good._

 _ElliotSaysHi: Can't wait._

We exchanged numbers 'just in case something came up,' and I went about my Saturday with a giant mug of coffee and a shower. Once I was clean, I got back into my pajamas and worked on my laptop for a few hours. At 6 p.m., I fed myself a quick dinner: sandwich and leftover roasted vegetables, and then I decided it was time to start getting ready.

I always loved getting ready for dates and nights out. Sometimes, when Guy and I were fighting, getting ready to go out was more fun than the actual date, because we'd just spend the entire time arguing over nothing. I'd thought about what to wear all day on my first real date….ever. I wanted to seem casual but sexy. I settled on my favorite pair of dark wash jeans, black boots and a flowing black tank-top. I wore my hair down, straight and natural: my trademark. I was careful with my makeup. I didn't own that much, but I felt like I had to be a little more sparkly and interesting than usual, so I added some gold eye shadow and a pink lip-gloss.

"Well," I said, looking myself in the mirror, "I guess this is as good as it's gonna get."

I sent a photo of my outfit to Julie with the message, _"How's this for a first date?"_

The answered the text quickly: _"You're already going out with someone?!"_

 _"Yup. Proud?"_

 _"So proud of my little one! Let me know how it goes. Tomorrow, though. I'm going to bed."_

 _"Because you're an old lady…."_

I chuckled when Julie didn't reply.

The bar was a bit packed when I got there, but I found Elliot easily, sitting at a table for two near the window.

"Hi, Connie! It's nice to meet you," he said, standing to greet me. His eyes were a warm brown, similar to mine. They were nice, but I still like hazel eyes better. I just can't help it…

"It's nice to meet you too. How was your day?" I asked.

"Oh, great. I biked at and hung out with some friends for an early barbecue."

"Sounds like fun," I smiled.

"How about you?"

"Oh, I had a little bit of work to do."

"Right, I read about your job. What do you do again?"

He was a good conversationalist. You have to be these days. You have to be good at transitions or the conversation gets stale pretty fast…

"Yeah, I work for the Junior Goodwill Games. I'm in charge of monitoring all of the local youth hockey programs we partner with across 10 states."

"Wow. How do you get a job like that?"

"Well, I actually played in the Junior Goodwill Games myself when I was 13. It was a great experience, and my old coach got a job there, so when he knew I was looking for something, he pulled me in, and it's just been so great that I've been able to work out of Minneapolis."

"Right, so you grew up here?"

I nodded. "How about you?"

Just then a cute waitress in a short skirt came over to take our order. I froze a bit. I hadn't thought about what to drink. A drink can tell you a lot about a person, and I didn't want to come off too…. Something. Something I wasn't.

"Whiskey Ginger, please?" I offered. They weren't my favorite, but I figured that the whiskey would show my tomboy side, while ginger was a nice, soft undertone? 'God,' I thought to myself, 'I'm going crazy.'

Elliot went with a craft beer, which, in reality, was something I might have enjoyed more. Oh well…

"Um, anyway, yeah, me and Minneapolis. I lived here for a bit as a kid. My parents moved us around a lot, and I remembered liking it, so when this job came up here, I took it."

He explained his complicated finance job to me, and we talked more about how he got into biking.

"What about you? How did you get into hockey?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I um, I don't really remember. I was so young. We just always played on the ponds in the winter and in the streets in the summer."

"Who's 'we'?" He asked.

"Oh, me and my team. There was a core group of eight of us that played together from peewees through high school."

"So you played with the boys, then?"

"Until I went to college, I did."

"That's really cool. Was it ever difficult? Being the only girl?"

"Well, one of our goalies was also a girl, but…"

"But you were the only girl, um – sorry, I don't know the terminology."

"Skater? I played forward. Right wing, mostly."

"Sorry, I have no idea…."

"That's OK," I said, smiling.

We paused to slurp on our alcohol, liquid courage, I liked to think of it as…

"So, your profile mentioned something about a long-term relationship?"

I blushed.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," Elliot was quick to add.

"Well, what about you? What's your relationship history?"

"Um, I guess I'm in a similar boat. I lived with the last girl I dated, and when we broke up, it got pretty ugly."

"Ah, how long were you together?"

"About two years."

"Oh…"

I didn't want to tell Elliot how long Guy and I were together. Julie was right, it was too ridiculous. He'd think I was a freak.

"So…"

"Um, well, the guy I dated. He was pretty much my best friend. He was on my hockey team. Um, we grew up together, and we were off and on for a long time, up until last year."

"Wow. Intense."

"I guess," I shrugged, doing my best to downplay it.

"Is he here in town?"

"Um, sometimes. I mean, he's from here. He travels a lot for work too…." I said, really, really hoping that he wouldn't dig into further questioning.

We ended our conversation with some light chitchat about the TV and movies we liked, and Elliot asked if I'd like to go out to dinner next week.

"Sure," I answered. "Sure, that would be nice."

He walked me to my car, and smiled shyly as we say our goodbyes. No kiss. I was relieved, and as soon as he's out of sight in my rearview mirror, I burry my head in my hands for just a few minutes and cry.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hi it's Julie. Leave a message."

"I know you said to call you in the morning, but I'm driving home, and I just don't know. I don't- I can't- I-" I sighed. "Ugh. Never mind. Just call me back."

I wasn't much more eloquent the next morning when Julie called me back, but she encouraged met o remember that this didn't have to turn into anything, and that while I was dating Elliot, I was free to go on more trial first dates with other people.

"I know, I know," I said. But I decided to see how the second date went with Elliot. We were all set for Thursday night, until I got a call at work the next day.

"Miss Moreau, have you checked the Minnesota Wild's schedule lately?" The voice on the other end asked. I recognized it immediately.

"Charlie?!"

"We're coming to town on Thursday, baby! I already told Adam to reserve you a seat behind MY bench so you can heckle me."

Charlie was currently playing for the Edmonton Oilers, while Adam was with the Wild. Guy was the only other Duck to go pro, and currently with the Anaheim Ducks themselves. The distance between us had been the final nail in the coffin of ConnieandGuy. He'd begged me to leave Minneapolis to work with the Junior Goodwill Games at their home office in Los Angeles in order to be closer to him, and for the first time in my life, I decided I wanted to make my own decision, to do what was best for me, not what was best for ConnieandGuy.

"Um, Charlie, I'd love to come to the game, but I actually have a date on Thursday."

"A date, huh? Well, why don't you bring the guy? So we can check him out."

"I dunno, Charlie, it's only our second date…."

"Come on, Connie! You know I've gotta approve anybody you're seeing."

Did I know that? Not really, but Charlie was right. He was the closet thing I had to a brother, and maybe having his opinion – along with Adam's – would actually be helpful.

I decided to message Elliot on the website. For whatever reason, that was still our primary means of communication. It was how we'd arranged our date in the first place.

 _ConnieM18: Hi, Elliot. I know this is really late notice, but I was wondering if we could change our plans for Thursday. My friend invited me to the Minnesota Wild game, and I'd love for you to come with me. The game starts at 7, so if we could eat an earlier dinner, at 6 or so, and then go to the game?_

 _ElliotSaysHi: That sounds awesome. You can teach me all of the hockey things. ;)_

 _ConnieM18: Deal! Thanks so much._

 _ElliotSaysHi: I'm still picking you up, right? 5:45?_

 _ConnieM18: Deal._

I wondered if I should give him more details….like that we're actually going to watch two of my best friends play against each other, but I decided to leave that part out until dinner. We went to a hip, kind of fancy place, so I left my jeans and my Ducks jersey in the car in favor of a slinky little red number and black pumps.

It was tradition whenever any of us ducks went to see Guy, Adam and/or Charlie play that we wear an old Mighty Ducks jersey, so we'd be easy to pick out of the crowd.

"You look beautiful," Elliot told me.

"Thank you so much."

This time, the conversation felt easier. We talked about what was going on with work, and a little about our families, which was always a little awkward for me.

"My mom wasn't really around when I was growing up," I explained. "She was in and out of rehab. And my dad was really great and stable, but he had to work a lot to make up for everything, so I didn't see him much either."

"That must have been rough."

It wasn't, but I couldn't explain that to him.

"Um, I actually spent a lot of time with my hockey team, remember, the ones I told you about last time?"

"Oh, yeah. That's really great that you had that kind of support system in place."

"Right, so, at the game tonight, we're actually going to see a couple of them play."

"Oh, they're that good, huh?"

"I mean, we all were. We played at the international level when we were 13 …not to brag or anything."

"Of course not. Well that's cool. I had no idea you had these kinds of connections."

I shook my head. "It's no big deal. These guys are like my brothers. Charlie plays for the Oilers, they'll be the visiting team. He was the captain of our team. My friend Adam plays for the Wild, and we still hang out at least once a week or so. He's from Edina. Wealthy parents, so he was always sort of an outsider on our team, but we loved him just the same."

"Right. Cool…"

Ugh. I knew it. I knew it was awkward. This was part of the reason I'd always avoided dating other people – people outside my ducks bubble. I knew no one else would understand.

"Um, you didn't happen to bring a change of clothes, did you?" I asked once we were back in the car and headed downtown.

Elliot shook his head. "I didn't know I was supposed to."

"Well, I mean, it's a hockey game….but it's fine… Um, do you mind if I just slip this on over what I'm wearing? It's this dumb tradition thing."

"No problem," Elliot laughed.

He was at least kind enough to put up with me so far…

The game had just started when we parked, and made our way up to will call.

"Hi, I'm on the Wild's list," I offered to the person behind the desk.

"Sure. Which player?"

"Adam Banks?"

"Your name?"

"Connie Moreau."

"Great, can I see some ID?"

I pass off my drivers license, and she hands over two tickets just where Charlie promised they'd be, behind the visitor's bench.

"This is pretty cool special treatment, Connie," Elliot says, following me through the crowds to our seat.

"It's no big deal," I reply, shaking my head.

I recognize Charlie by the back of his head, even with his helmet on, so I lean forward over the railing and tap on the glass.

"Hey, Spazzway!" I yell.

"Cons!" He calls back, holding up his gloved hands.

"Go get 'em, ya Cake Eater!" I mocked.

Charlie just rolled his eyes, blew a kiss, and turned his attention back to the game.

I did the same, noticing Adam was on the ice.

"See number 99?" I asked Elliot, pointing to Adam.

"Um, I guess. They're all moving so fast."

"That's my friend Adam."

We chat through the rest of the first period, I explain the game and what's happening, even down to the penalties, which Elliot finds most confusing.

"So when someone gets a penalty they have to go sit in a box?"

"Right. Usually for two minutes, but it depends on what the penalty is."

"That sounds like kindergarten."

I shook my head, unsure of how to respond. These things were so ingrained in me, I didn't know how to make them make sense to Elliot.

After the end of the first period, I was relaxing a bit, watching the on-ice entertainment, when a blonde reporter with giant, blonde curls and an even bigger TV camera made her way up to me.

"Hi, are you Connie Moreau?"

"Um, yup. That's me!"

Inside, I was groaning. Charlie had done this to me once before.

"Would you mind doing just a quick interview with me?"

"Sure," I replied, standing up with my back to the ice, like I knew she'd want.

Elliot's eyes grew wide.

"I had no idea I was out with a celebrity!"

"Like I said, it's no big deal…"

"I'm just going to ask you about Conway and Banks and the Ducks a little bit, Connie. It's great that you're wearing a Ducks jersey."

"Oh, you know, it's a tradition…"

"Oh, is it? I'll be sure to ask you about that."

"Lovely."

She counted down from three…two…one. "Thanks, Mike. I'm down here with Connie Moreau, former teammate of both Adam Banks of the Wild and Charlie Conway of the Oilers. Connie, what brings you here tonight?"

"I'm just here to see two of my old friends in action," I replied, smiling wide.

"And I see that you're representing your old team, the Ducks. 1992 and 93 Minnesota PeeWee Champions, 1994 Junior Goodwill Games world champions, 1997, 98 and 99 Minnesota 5A High School Champions, is that right?"

"It is. It's a tradition that whenever any duck goes to an NHL game to watch our former teammates, we always wear a ducks jersey so we're easy to pick out of the crowd."

"That's great. Connie. You played hockey at the University of Wisconsin and on the 2006 Olympic team. Do you have any plans for a comeback?"

"I'm actually currently working in a development position for the Junior Goodwill Games, a great organization that did so much for our careers – for all of our careers – and I'm happy playing in a rec league here in Minneapolis."

"Well, it's good to hear you're still getting out on the ice, Connie. What's it like to watch your old teammates?"

"It's still pretty strange to see Adam and Charlie play against each other because they're such good friends. But they're both incredible players doing their job well. I know Charlie's always happy to come home to Minneapolis, and I love watching them play."

And how do these former ducks look to you tonight?"

"You know, any time I watch the Wild play, I'm impressed with their speed and their excellent movement on the ice. But the Oilers are a big team, and they've been great on the road this season, so we'll see."

"There you have it folks. Mike, back to you."

The reporter says thank you, and says that I was great.

I don't know what to say when I sit back down with Elliot.

"You didn't mention um, going to the Olympics."

"Well, we came in third."

"So you're not only an Olympian, you're a bronze medalist?"

"Yeah..."

"That's a pretty important detail you just left out."

"It's really not. It was a year of my life. I'm thankful for it, but the ducks had so much of a bigger impact.

Elliot didn't ask as many questions through the second two periods. Toward the end of the third period, Charlie actually scored a goal and dedicated it to me.

He invited Elliot and I down onto the ice after the game, and I watched him to an interview.

"Charlie, great game tonight! We spoke to your former teammate Connie Moreau earlier, and she says you love playing in Minneapolis, is that true?"

"It is. I love to come home and see my mom and my old friends and teammates. The Wild are a great team, and it's always a good time playing them."

"OK, enough of this. You guys wanna go out for some drinks?"

I could tell Elliot was exhausted. He's faded over the course of the evening.

"Sure. Maybe just a quick one, though," he replied. "Some of us have to work the regular ole 9-5 tomorrow."

Elliot offers me a consolation smile as we turn and head for the exit.

AN: Thanks for the reviews, folks! ….I'm not sure of how ticketing for friends of players works in the NHL, so I just wrote it similar to my experience of getting into NCAA basketball games for free because a friend of a friend was on a division 1 team. Yup…there ya go! Also, sorry about the gap in uploads. I'll try to stay on a once-per-week schedule from now on!


	4. Chapter 4

I pounded my first into my alarm clock when it goes off the next morning at 8 a.m. I wasn't not hung over, just tired from such a late night. It took me a moment to register what happened, and then I felt the sting of awkwardness and rejection. I remembered.

After one beer, Elliot pulled me outside by the hand. I thought he just needed a breath of fresh air and was not at all prepared for the words that came next.

He said, "Connie, I just don't think I'm fitting in to your world. I don't think we should see each other again."

"Oh. OK."

"Do you think one of your friends could take you home? I'm exhausted. I need to take off."

I nodded my head weakly and offered a quiet, "Goodbye," and that was it.

Still in bed, I crossed my arms over my chest. Charlie didn't like Elliot. I could tell. And I wasn't even sure that I'd liked Elliot too much. He seemed so star-struck by the whole NHL atmosphere, and I needed someone could can deal with that. Someone who could at least play it cool. Maybe I just needed to date someone who cared about hockey.

I flung my sheets off my body. The next several hours were spent showering, cleaning, answering work emails and getting ready. There was no order to the madness. I scrubbed the toilet then blow dried my hair. I answered emails, then smeared on some BB cream.

Somewhere in the chaos, I navigated to the dating website and changed my "looking for" section to: "Someone who gets me. Someone who gets hockey."

…And then I fell asleep on the couch again.

Charlie was still in town, so later that day he, Adam and I met up at the mall, our old stomping grounds….mostly just to walk around, though I did enjoy dressing the two boys up in clothes I thought their girlfriends would like.

"So, that guy from last night isn't hanging around, is he?" Charlie asked.

"No. He's not. It was a casual thing. I'm casually dating," I replied.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. Because it's something I've never done, and I'm a grown ass woman. It's something I need to do. I need to figure out what I want," I said. I was trying to convince myself just as much as Charlie.  
"OK. Just don't make any big decisions before I come to town again."

"Whatever, Charlie…"

We didn't spend too much time at the mall. Charlie had to go spend time with his mom. Adam had a workout, and I needed to pack, because I was headed out to LA for a round of meetings the next week. I checked the weather and packed three work outfits, three dinner outfits, an outfit to work out in, and an outfit to sleep in. Next were the toiletries and the extras: laptop, phone charger, the giant water bottle I compulsively travel with.

That evening, I had hockey practice with my girls. Before I could even put my pads on in the locker room, Hayley, Jen and Ella swarmed me to ask me a million questions about online dating.

"My first two dates were good. Um, you know, the Oilers were in town the other day, so I actually took this guy I met to the game."

"HEY!" Jen protested. "You said the next time you got tickets to a game you'd take me.

"Sorry. I can have Adam put you on the list for this week if you want."

"Thank you. Geez."

"What about the guy, Connie?" Ella asked, rolling her eyes at Jen.

"He was fine. But he didn't really get hockey. I didn't realize until we went to the game together just how important that piece is for me. I guess I need to date someone who at least knows the rules…"

"Of course you do," Hayley told me. "You're the most hockey-obsessed girl I know. Your job, your hobbies, your friends….I mean, you don't have anything separate."

I rolled my eyes. I liked to think Hayley was exaggerating. I'm more well-rounded than that, right? Oh, who am I kidding?

I didn't feel great on the ice during our first few drills. I'm haven't been this distracted at hockey practice since high school when Guy and I were fighting.

"Get it together, Moreau," I told myself. And I did, finally, during the scrimmage. I scored a goal and made two assists. But that wasn't saying too much because our goalies sucked. Julie told me I should try to get in there. I'd moved to playing defense now instead of forward, because I was one of the more aggressive players on my team. But I wasn't ready to add so much padding just yet.

I was packing up my gear when I heard someone cough behind me. It was the kind of cough you make when you want to get someone's attention ….not when your throat is tickling.

"Connie?" the voice asked.

It was Danny, a player for my team's male counterpart. He'd obviously just arrived at the rink. He wasn't sweaty, like me. His perfect brown hair was perfectly gelled and sticking up out of a bandana. His deep, blue eyes sparkled in the strange green light of the rink.

"Hey, Danny, what's up?"

"Um, this is maybe a little embarrassing."  
"Um, this is maybe a little embarrassing."  
"What?" I ask. Suddenly, my heart starts to race and my mind wanders, thinking of all the things that could be wrong: my underwear is hanging out of my back pocket… I have something on my face….

"I sort of saw your profile on this dating site I also happen to belong to."

"Oh," I said, sighing, relieved that there's nothing wrong with my physical appearance, at least. But then I realize how strange this is. "Oh….oh God."

"Listen, I know we've hung out a bit as friends and everything, and I guess I didn't realize that you were single now, so…."  
"Oh. Yeah. It's been like a year," I replied, nervously rushing my hand through my hair, tucking a few strands behind my ear.

"Well, would you wanna go out sometime?"

Julie's voice echoed in my head, so I said, "Sure."

Danny was all right from what I knew about him. Although, come to think of it, I didn't really know too much about him at all. I always thought he seemed kind of boring and quiet, but maybe I wasn't giving him enough credit. He was attractive enough: fit, muscular and a few inches taller than me.

"Great. When are you free?"  
"Not till next weekend, actually. I'm about to head out to California for work."

"That's fine. How about we grab dinner next Saturday?"

"Sounds great. You have my number?"  
"Yup."  
"Cool…"

I didn't know how to part ways with him. It's awkward. It's awkward. It's awkward, and the awkwardness is my least favorite part of all of this.

The next day, I roll out of bed and step out the door in the same clothes I slept in: black yoga pants and a team USA hockey sweatshirt. I throw on a Minnesota Wild cap and my favorite pair of chucks for good measure. I take a cab to the airport and sleep through most of my four-hour flight to LA. Flying into LAX always makes me remember the first time… It was my first time on an airplane, and that was the case for most of us Minnesota ducks. Our parents didn't have money to treat us to luxurious vacations on airplanes.

I was terrified of landing, because the summer before, a plane had crashed landed at the Minneapolis airport. It was all over the news. The plane's brakes froze, and it couldn't slow down fast enough, so it rammed into the side of the terminal. I'd never squeezed Guy's hand so tight.

"Does it feel like it's going to fall off?" I asked him.

"No. It's just fine," he replied, and I snuggled into his chest.

I spent that summer seeing how jealous I could make him of the new ducks without pushing him over the edge. It's funny to think back to now. He really didn't deserve it.

I hated thinking how close we were with me in LA. Just a handful of miles now, instead of thousands. A handful of times, I'd flown to see Guy here without any specific work business. I'd watched his games with the other Anaheim wives and girlfriends, and I wondered if this was destined to be my future…

This wasn't my first time back in LA since we'd broken up, but I definitely wasn't coming as often. Thankfully, the Junior Goodwill Games office was in downtown LA, and Guy was camped out somewhere in Anaheim. I'm not sure if he was still in the same one-bedroom, cookie-cutter apartment complex as he was when we broke up.

"You could buy a house with your signing bonus," I'd reminded him, several times. He didn't tell me until much later that most of that money had gone to replaying his mother's debts.

The person in the window seat nudges me. We're deplaning. It's time to get it together again. It's time to go to work.


	5. Chapter 5

I took a cab straight from LAX to the Junior Goodwill Games office. Thanks to the time difference, it was just 9 a.m., and I even had time to stop for a bagel and some coffee on my way.

I greeted everyone in the office on my way back to the hockey division. The entire office was an open floor plan: desks dotted throughout a huge room, except for the managers who have their own offices. And even though Gordon's office door was closed, I barged right in.

He was on the phone, but he still motioned for me to come over. He stood up to give me a quick side-hug and motioned again, for me to sit down.

The phone call ended quickly, and my old Coach – now boss – flopped down in his own seat and sort of looks me over. If any other person in the world did this, it might have been strange. But Gordon watched me grew up. I'm practically his daughter. Little sister? I wasn't sure. Neither were my coworkers, and I think it weirded some of them out a bit.

"You look great, Connie. What have you been up to?"

"Working a lot, you should know that."

He nodded slowly. "I know. I'm sure you're all ready for the meetings and presentations."

"I'm gonna knock it out of the park. The recruiters will be all ready to go out and get the right kids for the summer camps."

"I know, I know, but what you about your personal life?"

I rolled my eyes. "You're worried about me, aren't you?"

"No worried, no…" he said, his tone growing slower and more serious. "It's just that, well, it's been about a year."

It had been a year, a week and five days exactly, but I didn't tell Coach Bombay that.

I shrugged. "I hung out with Charlie and Adam last week when the Oilers were in town. Saw the game…."

He looks bored.

"I took a date."

"You're dating?" He sat up straight in his chair. The bored look was gone.

"I'm dating. Casually. I joined one of those websites…"

"Connie, I think that's great."

"You do?"

"Of course. You're a great girl. You need to get out there and show the world that."

I didn't really understand how going on a couple of basically blind dates was 'showing the world,' but I let it pass.

After our short talk, we got down to business. Gordon and I went over a few details of my presentation for tomorrow – the big meeting – and then I set up camp at a free computer in the middle of the office until it was time for the first meeting of the day.

Since I was so used to working on my own, I felt really energized in the office environment, and especially in meetings. I felt like it was my time to shine: my time to brag about all of the tireless hours I'd spent on my computer in my living room in Minneapolis. The meetings go well the next day. The higher-ups are impressed with my presentations about the kids that the scouts I work with have been observing in youth hockey programs across my area. I outlined where the JGG prep camps will take place this summer, the coaches we've been talking to about coming, as well as dates and timeframes. And when it's all said and done at the end of the day, Gordon suggested the team go out to celebrate. He took me and the other two youth development officers Paul and Craig, out for drinks. Paul is based in Seattle. He handles the West Coast, and Craig is in Burlington, Vermont working with the Northeast programs. They liked to joke with me that I'm in charge of "Minnesota, Wisconsin, sometimes Michigan and the rest of the 'middle'."

"Hey," I jumped in. "Chicago has a ton of programs as well!"

"Sure, sure," Bombay said, "Let's order drinks."

After three rounds, I'm started to feel a little sloppy. I looked down at my phone and noticed as text from Julie, but I decided not to read it.

"Coach, you know, how come you get to bug me about my personal life, but I don't get to ask about yours?"

Paul and Craig looked away. They had no idea how Bombay will respond to something like this.

"I'm not dating anybody Connie."

"Really?"

"Nope. Not right now."

"REALLY?"

"I would tell you!"

I shrugged my shoulder and leaned back in my seat again with my foot up against the table.

"So, um, have you talked to Guy?"

"Mmmhmm," Gordon replied. Craig and Paul perked up at the mention of Guy. They had both met him. They both loved him….everybody loved Guy. How could you not? There's nothing wrong with him.

"Of course you have," I replied. Gordon didn't offer any extra information off the bat, so I pressed him a bit. "So…..how's he doing?"

Gordon just shrugged. "Is this healthy for your whole moving on thing, Connie?"

"I don't know," I huffed. "Probably not."

"Just – is he dating too? I can deal with that answer because I am. I'm out there, man. Dating it up."

"He's not dating," Gordon said. "Not that I know of. Last I heard, he wanted to focus on his career. Make himself invaluable to the franchise."

I felt better knowing that, even though I wasn't exactly sure what it meant.

The last day in LA was difficult. I was hung over, but thankfully, my boss was too, and he sent me home early. Or, to the hotel early. As I packed up my clothes, with HGTV mindlessly droning on in the background, my phone began to taunt me. His number was right there inside the coils and wires and chips. I wonder what he was doing. He was a phone call away. If I called him, I knew he'd meet up with me right away no questions asked. But I decided to call Julie instead. I hadn't been too great at answering her texts since I'd been in LA.

"Hi," I groaned when she answered her phone.

"What are you up to?"

"I've been working in LA for the past couple of days. "

"Oh, cool! How's Coach?"

"Good. He's killing it here. They love him, and they're paying him a ton."

"Ha. Cool. I mean, that's all you need, right?"

"Exactly," I said, deadpan. We're both being sarcastic.

Julie's been teaching social studies and coaching high school hockey in Maine for the past few years, and she's super excited because school is just two months from being out. She told me about her plans to come visit me in Minneapolis. She said she wanted to book a flight as soon as possible. We settled on the third week in July, when I'll be in town and able to take a few days off.

"How's Preston?" I asked of her current beau. They've been together since the end of college. He does something in insurance, and all I knew is that every time he's talked about it to me, I've absolutely fallen asleep. Guy and I used to joke about that…. He's nice, though, and he makes Julie happy, and that's the important thing.

Julie said that he's fine and I tentatively reported to Julie the news about Guy that Bombay shared, or the lack of news, that is.

"You shouldn't worry about what he's doing Connie. You're doing your own thing," she told me.

"Yeah, but…it's just interesting. I can't help being curious."

"Well, you should try."

I rolled my eyes. I didn't tell Julie that I could barely resist calling him. After we hung up, I ordered a pizza to my room and fell asleep quickly. The next morning, I'm on a flight back home to reality.

AN: SO SORRY! I have no idea what happened with the original upload of this story!


	6. Chapter 6

I spent Friday unpacking, doing my laundry and recuperating from all of the fun I had while I was in LA, but all that really didn't take that long, so in the afternoon, I struck out to find a new outfit for my date with Danny. I didn't feel too stressed about this date because I've known Danny for several years. I know that he grew up in Red Wing and came to the Twin Cities for college. He graduated a few years before me, so I guessed that we were really close in age. He was quiet in conversation, but a force on the ice. He loved to have fun and roughhouse. He played forward and was a pretty decent scorer – but again, on our league's crappy goalies. I didn't know what he did for a job, or if he had any hobbies besides hockey.

Danny also already knew a bit about my past. He knew that I dated Guy, and that he played for Anaheim. He constantly told me how much my boyfriend's team "sucked," even well after we'd broken up last year, and I never corrected him. I didn't usually defend the ducks, either, enough though their record for the past few years was more than decent. I knew that Danny was just usually blowing off steam. He was a Wild fan through and through.

After a few hours in shops and dressing rooms, I settled on a printed maxi skirt and matching, coral colored tank-top. I didn't have anything like that, and on the way home, I was still sort of questioning whether or not it suited me.

That night, sleep did not come easily, and by the early morning hours, I was still tossing and turning. I wanted to get out of the house, but I didn't want any food or coffee. It was too early for that. My only other option was yoga. The studio just a few minutes from my house had pretty good deals, and I've only been a handful of times, so I still had a punch card with a few classes left on it. I didn't like yoga because I couldn't even tough my toes, and the breathing always made me dizzy, but I had to admit that it was nice to see the sun shining through the huge windows surrounding the two sides of the studio toward the end of class, and by the end, I was feeling relaxed and ready for whatever this crazy day was going to bring me. I also knew that I needed to rehydrate, so I headed to the water fountain to refill my water bottle for the drive home, and that was when it happened: a guy approached me.

"Pretty intense class, huh?" He asked. It was clear he was just making friendly small talk, or maybe it was a line he was really good at delivering it.

"Yeah, I suck…."

"No way. Besides, yoga's not about ego."

His voice was as smooth as butter, and he wasn't bad looking either: blonde hair and blue eyes, boyish smile. He looked a lot like….someone I knew.

I'd heard my more enlightened friends spout that line before. As a competitive person who plays a competitive sport, it was hard for me to come to terms with the idea of doing something athletic and not necessarily trying to be the best at it.

I decided to go out on a limb and introduce myself to this handsome stranger.

"I'm Connie," I said, reaching out a hand.

"Dylan."

"So are you new to town? I haven't seen you around the studio?"

"Oh, no. I've lived in Minneapolis pretty much my whole life. I'm just not super into yoga."

"Well, what are you into?"

"Well, I work a ton. I love my job, and I play rec league ice hockey."

"That's pretty badass, Miss Connie."

"I dunno about that," I said, shrugging.

"I'm out on a limb here, but you seem really great. Would you like to go grab a smoothie and talk some more?"

A smoothie….a smoothie was so….yoga. My sleepy body was crying out for coffee, but I agreed anyway.

I felt flustered on the walk down the busy, downtown street. I was awkward with my yoga mat and bag Thank goodness I brought a jacket with me. That's another part of yoga I didn't like: the clothes. You have to be practically naked, and I wasn't used to working out like that. In fact, I was used to working out in pretty much the exact opposite: tons of pads and layers. I wondered to myself how it was possible that I was going out on two separate dates in one day. It was like this whole dating thing went from 0 to 60 in two seconds. I didn't date for an entire year while I got over the love of my life, and now I was dating guys on top of guys, and it still felt strange to open up to people.

"So, I asked you if you were new here because I sort of am," Dylan offered. "I've been here about three months now."

"Oh, cool. But I guess you've been doing a lot of yoga?"

"Well, yeah. It's been a way to meet people outside of work."

"Ah. And I'm guessing your work brought you here? What do you do?"

"Yes, I'm in management at Medtronic," he said, namedropping one of the city's largest companies.

"Very cool. Welcome to Minneapolis."

"Thanks, I'm actually loving it so far. Everyone says it's been a really nice late winter and early spring."

I shrugged. He was right, even though I was working too hard and traveling too much to really pay attention to the weather.

"Yeah. I think people over exaggerate the winter. It's really not that bad if you're prepared for it."

"We'll see how I fare. So what was it like growing up here?"

"I had a great experience. Most of my best friends to this day are ones I grew up with and played hockey with as a kid and even in high school."

"Very cool. I wish I could say the same. I have a few buddies from college left, but it's hard to stay in touch."

"Totally."

"Where'd you go to school?"

"The University of Wisconsin," I replied.

"I don't know anything about that school."

"Well, Madison is a really great college town, and….yeah. Our mascot is the badgers."

"And Minnesota is the Gophers, right?"

"Yup. Weird, rodent-like animals here in the upper-midwest. Where did you say you came from?"

"Oh, New York. Just like everybody else."

"I haven't spent too much time there."

"Don't!"

I laughed. He made me laugh. That was weird. I couldn't remember the last time a guy made me laugh. I liked Dylan. The only problem was that he still didn't know anything about hockey. At the end of our smoothie date, we exchanged numbers. He said that since I'd been brave at yoga, I could pick what we did next – or even if we went out at all.

"I feel a bit desperate here, because it's not like I have any other friends waiting around to hang out with me," he laughed. "My coworkers have been great. We go for drinks all the time….but, you know how it is."

I did. It was hard. And I kept that in mind while I was getting ready for my date with Danny later that day.


	7. Chapter 7

I chatted with Julie while I got ready for my date with Danny.

Catlady6: yoga/smoothie guy or regular old hockey guy?

TheVelvetHammer_: I dunno…

Catlady6: I'm just trying to figure out who I'd pick if it were me.

TheVelvetHammer_: The "old Connie" in me, obviously wants to go with hockey guy. Unless tonight goes terribly, you know. But new Connie is adventurous, and she likes to try new things….

CatLady6: And new smoothie flavors.

TheVelvetHammer_: Yes.

Danny texted me when he was downstairs. He told me I should take my time getting ready. But I was ready. I wasn't the type of girl to primp. I'd primp more for a business presentation like the ones I had last week than I would for a date, but I decided to wait just five more minutes before making my way outside.

"Hey, you look great!" He said.

"Thanks. So where are we going?"

"This little Italian place downtown. I know you love your carbs."

I smirked. He was right…

"So, what prompted this whole getting back in the game thing, anyway?" He asked.

"Well, I guess it's been about a year since Guy and I broke up, and I just felt like it was time."

"Why did you break up, anyway?"

"Wow!"

"What?!" He asked, raising his hands up off the steering wheel for just a moment.

"We're really going to just launch into all of this on the first date?"

"Well, what would you rather talk about, Moreau?"

I crossed my arms. "Well, for starters, I think you should call me Connie tonight. Because that's my name, and actually, since we're getting to know each other, my full name is Constance Elaine Moreau. I'm named after my great grandmother."

"That's really pretty," He smirked.

"What's your middle name?" I asked.

"My middle name is, 'you're really bad at skirting serious questions.'"

"It's just that the whole story of me and G- me and my ex…is really long and complicated. That happens when you've been together most of your life. The short answer, that I would tell a normal person off the street who wasn't interrogating me is that, in the end, his schedule and my job and the distance between us was the final nail in the coffin."

"Gotcha. You know, Connie, I'm feeling ready to settle down. That's why I asked…"

Danny went on for the rest of the drive about how he'd fooled around too much in his 20s, and he wanted to be with someone serious and committed.

"Is that what you want?" He asked.

I was silent. I didn't know how to respond. Because I didn't know what I wanted. I was still trying to figure it all out.

"If it's not, I'm going to throw you out of this moving car, so…."

I liked Danny's sarcasm. There was something comforting about it. He reminded me more of Charlie than anything.

"I don't know," I told him.

"Fair enough."

The pasta was delicious, and the conversation was easy, but at the end of the night, I didn't feel any more ready to make a decision about which guy I liked better.

Instead, I decided to go out on another website first date. …and another.

For the next two months, I went on two first days per week, and by the end of it, I still had no idea what I wanted. I also wasn't getting any better at dating or letting guys down easy.

Thank goodness Julie arrived in Minneapolis just in time to distract me from my failures, and she came with a surprise. At the airport, she ran up to me holding out her left hand, which was sporting a giant diamond.

"WHAT THE HELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL AND TELL ME ABOUT THIS IMMEDIATELY?!" I growled.

"Because I wanted to see you do that," she giggled.

"Julie! You're gonna be Mrs. Preston Kirkpatrick."

That evening, we joined Adam and a few other members of the Wild to watch the Stanley Cup Final at a bar downtown. A few people approached the guys for autographs, and Julie and I just rolled our eyes and watched it happen.

"So when do you think you're going to get married?" Adam asked Julie.

"We haven't set a date yet. That'll be the first thing I do when I get home."

"I really hope I can make it," Adam said. "I hope we all can. It would be the first time in forever that all the ducks could come back together."  
I bit my lips. All the ducks. Guy included. That'd be weird. And wrong. It would be wrong for us not to be friendly when all of the other ducks were around.

Julie slept in my bed with me that night, and it felt just like high school when we used to share a dorm room. I missed it.

"I'm so jealous of you, Julie," I admitted after turning out the lights on the day before she was scheduled to leave. The next morning, we would have time for a quick brunch, and then I'd have to put Julie back on a plane to Maine.

"Why? Your life is great."

"It is, but you have it ALL figured you. All the pieces of your puzzle are falling into place. I've been dating…hard care for like….months, and I'm still alone. Here, with you."

"Hey, Bitch, it's not a bad place to be."

We both laughed. "It's not, but you know… I just pictured all of this going so differently. And I know it's dumb, but it just feels weird that you're going to be getting married before I am. I love Preston. I'm so happy you're happy, but I can't imagine going to your wedding with anybody besides Guy. It's just how I always pictured it."

Julie sighed. "I don't know what to tell you. Like, on one hand, you've come so far, and you're doing so well….but if that's really how you feel, I mean, maybe you should reach out to him?"

"I'm scared."

Julie didn't reply.

"I'm scared that he's moved on by now, or that he hates me, or that he just wants to be friends. AND I'm scared that he wants to get back together. I still just can't figure out what I want."

"You want a guy exactly like him that's not him."

I giggle. "I mean, if that could happen, sure!"

"I don't think it can, Connie."

I sighed, and eventually fell into a fitful sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning, Julie and I woke up and got ready almost wordlessly. I was still feeling depressed about Guy.

We decided that we have time for brunch before I have to drop her off at the airport.

I ordered my usual chocolate chip pancakes at my favorite brunch place in the neighborhood, but I couldn't bring myself to finish them. I just wasn't hungry.

"Have a good summer, Julie," I said, hugging her tight.

She wished me the same.

The only problem was that my summer was about to get pretty crazy. It was just part of my job, really. I traveled around the region attending JGG training camps, taking photos and writing profiles of the kids for the website. It was always busy.

The first camp was here in Minneapolis followed by Madison, Chicago, Indianapolis and Detroit …and then I had a break. After that, Fargo, Omaha, Wichita, St. Louis, Kansas City, Des Moines and home again….

By September, I was exhausted. I took a week off when I got home just to recollect myself. I hadn't dated anyone the entire summer. I'd decided it would be too hard to coordinate schedules from the road, and too hard to keep someone new interested if I was just going to be out of town for weeks on end.

I didn't want the added distraction. I just wanted to do my job and to get through it.

I met up with Bombay a few times. He'd join me at the camps where we had particularly talented kids, just to check up on how they were developing. I never asked about Guy, even though I wanted to.

By the third day of my staycation, I finally didn't feel like I'd been run over by a truck anymore. I felt rested. I'd finished my laundry, cleaned my apartment and gone grocery shopping, but I still didn't feel like facing the world.

My computer told me a few things: 1. I had about a million requests and notifications on the dating site, and two, the Wild's first pre-season game was against the ducks. At home.

That afternoon, I managed to catch Adam in between workouts, and I asked him to come over and hang out that evening.

"I can't eat Chinese takeout, Connie," he reminded me. That was our mid-season tradition. When he could eat just about anything he wanted. These days, he was training hard core right before the season, working out twice a day 5 days a week, counting macronutrients and micronutrients…. It sounded terrible.

"I'll cook you something healthy. Chicken breast, side of broccoli. Deal?"

"Deal," he agreed.

We watched some bad TV together while I finished up cooking and we ate.

"So, Adam, pre-season's starting soon, huh?"

"Yeah. A week from tomorrow."

"Playing the ducks, huh?"

"Yeah…"

"Come on, one of us had to bring it up."

"Are you coming?" Adam asked, looking hopeful. It was a tradition for me to go to the first preseason game every year. Adam said I was his good luck charm.

"I dunno," I said, shaking my head. "It's been such a difficult …past few months? Year? I don't know."

"I'd understand if you didn't want to," he said, placing his empty plate on my coffee table. "But, I'd really love you to be there. And I think Guy would too."

He'd muttered the worst so quickly, that I couldn't really tell if Adam said "Guy" or "He," but in any case, I knew who he meant.

I wondered if Adam knew something I didn't. I wondered if there was a secret hiding behind those stone cold blue eyes of his. It wouldn't be the first time.

The next night, I didn't have a date. I didn't have hockey practice. I didn't have anything to distract me. I grilled a chicken breast and roasted all of the vegetables in my fridge: leftovers from the other night. I stared at my phone…..thinking of all the times Guy and I had sort of ESP experiences…when we were dating, sometimes he would call just as I was thinking of him. But not tonight…

For some reason, my mind wandered to our College years. Those were probably some of the most difficult for our relationship because we were at different schools and we didn't see each other often. Guy and Charlie played together on the University of Minnesota Ice Hockey team, and I, of course, played for the women's team at the U of Wisconsin. Sometimes we ran into each other on the road, and sometimes one of us would drive four ours to see the other for just a weekend. Our graduations were one of those times. Guy's was the week before mine. I'd never been prouder of anybody than I was of him when he crossed that stage to get his diploma: the first in his family to graduate from college, and with a 3.5 GPA while playing hockey at that. And the next week, he returned the favor by coming to mine. He brought me flowers, and smiled wider than anyone when he saw me after the ceremony. "We did it, Cons! Our real lives can finally start now."

And they did….and everything just sort of, broke down somewhere along the way.

The next day at work, I have a meeting on my calendar that I forgot about. It's a meeting with one of the girls who attended our camps over the summer: Meg Killian. She was from Minneapolis, and she reminded me a lot of myself.

I was happy about meeting with her, but that still wasn't motivation to get me out of bed any quicker. I practically threw my phone across the room when my alarm went off…pissed that I couldn't reach out to him. Pissed at how obsessively I'd been thinking about him. Pissed at where I was.

But I still made it into the office I hardly ever used by 10 a.m., and a few moments later, Meg came in wearing a cute polka dotted dress, her hair in curls. If I saw her on the street, I wouldn't know she was a hockey player, and that's how girls were these days. They were cute and feminine, but then they played hockey.

"Miss Moreau, thank you so much for meeting with me!" Meg gushed, shaking my hand and taking a seat in the chair in front of my desk.

"Of course, Meg! I'm happy to meet you as well. You did so great at camp this summer, congratulations."

"It was really the time of my life. Thank you so much for the opportunity."

"Sure, so what do you want to talk about?"

"Well, I wanted to say thanks again, but not just for that. I mean, you've been one of my idols for a long time. I was so little when you played in the Olympics, but I remember watching you and just, wanting to be you. I knew you were from Minneapolis, and I did all this research about you playing peewee on a boy's team-"

"Well, there were no all-girls teams back then."

"Right. But still, it's just so inspirational."

"That's such a nice compliment, Meg. Thank you, really."

"I just kind of wanted to know what I should be doing next…"

"Well, you've got a really great start. I mean, you're high on the recruiter's list for the Goodwill Games next year and-"

Just them, our secretary, Nancy interrupted me by opening the door to my office.

"Connie, I'm so sorry, but there's someone on the phone for you, and he said it was urgent. I told him you were in a meeting, but he still called back again."

"Did this person give a name?"

Nancy shook her head and held her hands out in apology.

"Excuse me," I said to Meg. It was probably a coach or a recruiter that I'd called six months ago FINALLY calling me back. I felt the need to take work calls –especially when I didn't know who was calling. I mean, it could be important, and if not, I'd just yell at Nancy for interrupting my meeting. That would make Meg feel even more important and valued, which she was, of course.

"Connie Moreau," I answered.

"Connie…." I recognized the voice immediately. His voice. "Don't hang up."


	9. Chapter 9

His husky, sweet, smiling voice was unmistakable. I thought for a moment about all of the things I wanted to say to him, but nothing came out. I just muttered an "Oh…"

"Hi."

"Hi…"

"How are you?"

"Um, Fine….Um…hang on," I turned to Meg. "Meg, I'm so sorry, but I need to take this call. Would you might waiting outside for…just a minute."

"Of course."

"Thank you so much," I told her, still holding my hand over the receiver. "Just a second, I promise!"

"Of course," she said. She thought I was important. She thought this was a business call that just couldn't wait. I felt bad….

"Thank you so much," I said to her. Then I took my hand off the receiver and said, "I'm back."

"Hi."

"You said that."

"I know. I don't know what to say, I just had to call you…"

"Oh. Um, why?"

"Because, I guess….I guess I'm just not OK?"

"Me neither," I spat out, as quickly as I could.

Guy sighed. "I mean, people ask me every day how I'm doing, and I say 'fine,' and then every once in a while someone like Adam or Charlie will ask me how I am, and I still say that I'm fine, but I'm not fine, Connie."

"I know."

"I completely botched a workout this morning," Guy said.

I sighed. …there was a lot of sighing going on. One of us was bound to hyperventilate and pass out or something. Still, I thought of all the things I would have said before. Before not talking to Guy for almost two years. It probably would have been something about how that wasn't my fault and he shouldn't blame that on me, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything right now.

"I just couldn't stop thinking about you," Guy said. "Not that that's a new thing. I've been thinking about you…forever, but it's all coming to a head this week because of the game on Thursday. I know you usually come…"

"Yeah."

"So were you planning on coming?"

"I don't know…"

"It's just that, I don't want to see you, you know? And I don't NOT want to see you. I just don't want it to be like….this."

"I understand."

There was a long stretch of silence.

"Guy?"

"Yeah, Connie?"

"I guess I'm just scared that you've changed. I mean, we've never not talked for this long…"

"I have the same fear."

"I don't think I've changed," I shrugged.

"I don't either…"

"So do you want me to come to the game or not?"

"I guess…." He sighed. "I want you to come. Can we talk afterwards?"

"Sure."

"Great. Now I just have to do my best to put you out of my mind until then."

"You can do it, Guy. You're a great hockey player…"

"Thanks….OK. I lo-"

We both froze. He almost said it. He almost said "I love you," out of pure habit. It made my eyes fill with tears. I decided he must have been too embarrassed or upset to say anything else.

"Bye, Guy," I said.

"Bye, Connie," he replied.

I collected myself and called Meg back in. She wanted to talk about how the college recruitment process worked and other things like that. I did my best to answer her questions. But my heart and mind were racing….

I couldn't focus on work on Thursday, so I went into the office, because I thought it might help. Of course it didn't. All I could think of was what Guy must have been doing. I'm not sure when they got into town, or if they'd have a workout this morning….nothing, but I still wondered…..

And after work, I went home to pick out what to wear. I chose my best jeans, and my favorite pair of black chucks. But which jersey? The first one I pulled out of the bottom of my drawer was Guy's old, green Ducks jersey. His first one. During college, he agreed that I could keep it safe for him, and then I just kept it. Instead, I decide to break tradition. I wear the Anaheim Ducks jersey that Guy got me as a gift when he was drafted. I sat pretty silently during the game. I didn't know who to cheer for, but my heart did feel warm, when after the first period, before the other teams break, Guy and Adam shared a hug at center ice. I managed to snap a photo with my phone, and it took me a few minutes to catch my breath from it.

The game ended in a 1-1 tie, and I waited nervously in the lobby of the stadium for Guy to finish up in the locker room.

He did, and we finally met up in the awkward, empty, echoing lobby of the arena.

"Good game," I offered.

"It's amazing to see you, Connie," he said. We embraced for just a moment. I wanted it to last longer, but….he pulled away. "I don't know what else to say."

"Me either."

"What do you want?" Guy asked, hopefully, his hazel eyes were already beginning to well with tears. It wasn't a flip kind of question. He wasn't asking what I wanted. He was asking what I. Wanted. What I wanted to do. What I wanted from him. What I wanted us to be….

It was the kind of question I might have asked someone on a first date. And they would have no idea what I was talking about. Guy and I knew each other. We could read each other. It was easy.

"I don't know," I replied. "I've spent so long trying to figure it out. I've dated so many guys, Guy. And it's just. Sucked. And, like we talked about, I'm scared that you've changed…."

"After all this, I'm pretty convinced that my love for you hasn't changed."

"Well, then, what do you want to do?"

I didn't answer right away.

"We could try the long-distance thing again," Guy said, shoulders shrugging. "But then we're right back where we failed, and right back….I don't know. I just….I wish there was something I could do, but I don't get to decide if I leave Anaheim, and for all I know, I could be traded tomorrow, so I don't feel like I can ask you to-"

"I'll ask Bombay for a transfer."

"What?"

"I'll tell him tomorrow that I want to come out and work in LA full time. I'll find an apartment. My own apartment. We'll start over. In LA. For now. And we can take it from there."

We couldn't hold back anymore. We kissed like it was our first kiss. I ran my hands through his sweaty blonde hair, and we cried together.


	10. Chapter 10

When I woke up the next morning, in my bed. In Guy's arms, I could hardly believe what had happened. I stared up at the ceiling for a moment wondering what I'd done. I love my apartment. I love my life. 'I agreed too fast,' I thought. 'I'm throwing away everything I love about where I am right now and all of the progress I've made in being a truly strong and independent woman, and I'm running back to my boyfriend…' My boyfriend. Guy was more than that. All of my memories were tied to him. I turned to face his closed eyes. His chest rose and fell rhythmically. His blonde hair fell onto his face in little tufts. His arms had gotten bigger since the last time I'd seen him. I ran my hands up and down his bicep. He stirred a bit, gasping as he woke, with his face so close to mine.

I'd never been happier to see his hazel eyes look back at my brown ones.

"Good morning, beautiful," he said, wrapping his arm around me again and pulling me in close. "I was worried I would wake up and this would all be a dream."

"I know," I replied, my voice small. I still had butterflies in my stomach.

"So you didn't plan on going back with the team today?" I asked. We hadn't had much time last night to hammer out the details. After we pulled ourselves together, we came straight back to my place and, well, there wasn't much talking.

"No," Guy replied. "I planned to stay anyway. I need to see my mom."

Guy's mom still lived in St. Paul, and had been on and off hard drugs for a long time. Her small house, near the edge of downtown, was paid for now, thanks to Guy, but she just never seemed to be able to get it together.

"I could go with you," I offered.

"No, no worries. We can meet up later. Let me take you out to dinner. On a real date."

"OK," I replied, smiling a wide, goofy smile. But neither of us moved. I never wanted to move. I wanted to live in my bed in Minneapolis and have Guy deliver me food.

But, he eventually got up claiming that he had to pee. And then he asked if he could borrow my car.

"Our hotel is by the airport, so my plan was to just head there with everybody else, but then break off and rent a car."

"Yeah, sure," I replied. I didn't have any plans for the day. Except, I suppose, to call Gordon.

"I should head over there. I gotta make sure my roommate doesn't check out with all my stuff still in the room."

"Don't go," I whined.

"I'll see you later," Guy promised, smiling, and pulling my hair back from my ears in the same way he used to. "I love you."

"I love you too."

I watched him leave. And then I was alone again, and there was absolutely no evidence that Guy Germaine had ever been in this apartment. Except I could still smell him. Maybe I didn't have to call Bombay today, I thought. Maybe I could wait until Monday.

I decided to call Julie instead.

"Hey," she answered after two rings. "Can I call you back?"

"No," I replied.

"Connie, I'm in the middle of trying on wedding dresses with my mom."

"Well I slept with Guy last night."

"Hold on," Julie said. I imagined her unfastening some ridiculous wedding dress and putting her clothes back on so that she could walk outside, away from her mother, and talk to me about this.

About two minutes later when she picked up the phone again, she told me to start from the beginning.

"Julie, I know I planned to have this totally rational conversation with him. About all the progress I'd made and all the things I've done since we've been apart. But, watching him play, my heart just melted, and when he came to talk to me afterwards, everything I'd planned to say just flew out the window. We talked about how we haven't changed, and how we don't feel complete without each other. And then I said, just like, basically out of no where, that I would move to LA so that we could give our relationships another shot."

"Well, do you want to do that?"

"Yes…"

"Then why are you freaking out?"

"Because it all just seems too easy."

I could see Julie rolling her eyes. "Moving across the country to start a whole new life and work out all of your issues isn't going to be easy. Does that make you feel better?"

"Well…"

"You know why you're not freaked out?"

"Why?"

"Because you're Connie freaking Moreau," Julie said. "You're the bravest girl I know. You're the same girl who played hockey with the boys in high school. They don't even let girls do that anymore. You don't half-ass things. You for them, and you know what? It pays off. It's going to be hard, but if this is what you want, it's going to be worth it."

Julie was right, but I was still scared. After we hung up, I moved on to crying in the shower and walking around my apartment, stewing and practicing what I might say to Gordon, or what I was going to say next to Guy.

And after about five hours, I still had no idea.

AN: I heard you guys in the reviews! This story originally only had one more chapter & an epilogue...but now there might be some extra drama. Will Connie move to LA or won't she?! Aaaaahhhh...


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